Wineguider wine reviews

Today we examine a 2008 “reserve” chardonnay from California’s Russian River Valley that goes for $15. 

14.5% alcohol.  If you follow alcohol percentages, you know this is a bit high for a white wine.  But I like that Toasted Head has amped up its reserve chardonnay in this way.  It’s like a Colt-45 version of white wine, with a splash of Vicodin — party on, Garth! 

And I’ll need all the amping-up I can get to muscle down this larger-than-life, 3D-animated cartoon version of California chardonnay.  ULTRA-full of classic California chard flavor.  Super ripe.  Bonk-you-on-the-head spicy, thick, sweet and creamy.  Like a trusty oversized flame-thrower, it will methodically wipe out the taste of any food you attempt to pair it with.  These chardonnays tend to give you lots of oak and butter, but if you think about it, it’s more like DAP Plastic Wood and Country Crock Vegetable Oil Spread, fresh from Wal-Mart.  This one is no exception.

Seriously, if you do like California chardonnay, you may truly love Toasted Head barrel reserve, since it’s like drinking California chardonnay squared.  But if you like white wine for its natural, fresh and delicious real fruit flavors balanced against crisp tartness, citrus or acidity, you may spit up your Toasted Head barrel reserve all over your new shirt.  At least you’ll be feeling good while you do it.